I Look for Him

When I close my weary eyes
I look for him
When I take my aching breath
I look for him
When I force a broken smile
I look for him
When I weep through the fog of despair
I look for him

He has brought me here through every fleeting moment
Left me to wander in the darkness
I look for him, though I know he's gone
Now, he is the silence in the noise
Yet still, I feel his grip on me

I spend more and more time in the darkness
Nothing seems to affect me anymore
The rage I felt inside me is nothing but a flicker now
The fear once gripped me is now a passing thought
I have learned to live with what remains
Unmoved by emptiness and the quiet

One day, I see a glimpse of light in the darkness
Hoping it's him, I chase toward it
I see him standing there, facing away from me
Finally, I have found him—
The cause of my despair
The reason for my aching
I reach to tap his shoulder
And I feel a tap on mine
In that moment, I wake